It is easy at this point in the game to give up, I certainly feel tired enough to stop. But I cannot. Despite disappointment after disappointment I know that there are millions of orphaned children in this world and I know for certain it is God's plan to adopt one of them. I know we are ready and I know my kids are ready, my paperwork is ready, my heart is ready, our finances are almost ready.
Why. Why. not a question more a statement.
If I listened to some I would wait or not do this at all. When is the timing perfect to bring home a child, to birth a child, to get married? Is there some magic day and some perfect child and some just right situation? I don't know. I know that as hard as this is on me there is a child that doesn't have a family.
Am I so bad? Am I doing something so wrong? I have prayed, thought, desired, hoped and longed, paid with my heart, purse and time. Why.
We want to. I cannot stop. Something is bigger than us is in this and despite the circumstances we will bring home a child from Ethiopia. We need this girl and this girl needs us. I don't know if there is a perfect child just right for our family, is there such a thing anyway? I do know that in every child there is a blessing and no perfect fit for anyone, just a lot of kids and one big God to make it work. There is not a perfect time nor is there a perfect family but a family sticks it out through the thick and thin and we are sticking with this.
I don't know how or who or when. I do know why.
Kim
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
disregard the news
Well as in the world of adoptions some things just aren't sure until it is all said and done. We have decided with our agency that this is not the match for us due to personal reasons. We are now back to the wait and we do not have a child matched to us at this point. I will know for sure tomorrow but it doesn't look like this is the right match for our family.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Well we finally got the news!
We finally got the news. We have been matched with a darling almost five year old girl. We are excited and look forward to accepting the referral. As of right now it is a tentative agreement and we are waiting on some final paper work that should come in next week. There is also a very sweet friend picking up her daughter in Ethiopia, that is going to meet out little A.... (sorry no name or pictures online until things are finalized) and let us know how she is and some more information about her personality. We are looking forward to an update from her. She said she would also pray for her too!! I told her she could tell her about us and that we are waiting and that some strangers over 5,000 miles away are waiting to become mommy and daddy. I am putting a photo album together and there is so much to do. Like learn to speak her language!! Get her room ready!! Write a letter telling her about us. :)
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Gotta love em
This is Mason preaching the word of the Lord.
This is Judah with Styrofoam in his hair
This is Abby working with much care sculpting Styrofoam
God's Comic Relief
Well just when you think the crazy's are knocking the Lord make you laugh. He uses your kids, kids are good for so many things but they are really good for a laugh. Let me start off by saying my house has never been so messy. Okay now that that is out of the way I shall go on.
We got a karaoke machine so that I could practice my testimony and speaking into a microphone. Well Mason got a hold of it tonight and preached his first sermon, he stood on a chair and just let us all have it. At one point he tucked the microphone in his shirt and preached on everything from the shield of faith, the lion that comes to steal kill and destroy, in between chastising us for not watching him he would say "1,2 3 eyes on me" He was asking questions pertinent to his sermon and keeping us engaged. He often switched from the plight of the manta rays to having faith and testing. Then back to how God wants us to care for His universe and the story of Jonah, by the way Jonah was in the belly of the whale for three million years. I have to give it to the kid he had all the scriptures to back it up (well except the Jonah facts) I used to think I could never do as good as my father with teaching my own kids about God. My dad seemed, and is so wise and knew the answer for everything about God. He always gave good sound scriptures to back it up and in between my teenage eye rolls I learned something. I have always wanted to be like him, a good teacher. Well tonight I see that my kids have learned something. It hit me and I watched Mason pick up an orange (yes there is a box of oranges in my living room I told you my house was a disaster) and said "you know even this orange worships God" I thought to myself, I know the scripture to that. I waited. He said "You know if we don't raise up to praise God he will cause his own creations to, like the rocks and trees and all of his creation even this orange" Yesssssssss! He knows it and he gets it. I realized he is learning and like my dad, those hours of speaking scriptures even when you think they are not listening, they are.
Now onto what were Abby and Judah doing during this long, very long sermon? They had discovered the joy of sculpting Styrofoam. Yes they took the Styrofoam the karaoke machine came in and sawed and cut for an hour, feverishly with great intent and more importantly, quietly. Then they gathered up the millions of pieces around the floor in little zip lock baggies that for some reason they were so proud of. I don't get it, but if I could be that content cutting and storing Styrofoam in baggies for no reason, I wouldn't be blogging about how stressed out I am up at 3 am. Hence the reason my house is so very messy right now. What was I doing, avoiding cleaning and checking emails as feverishly as the Styrofoam cutting crowd to see if I had any news from a far away country. You know something else, Styrofoam is very hard to clean up, the little balls stick to you and run from the vacuum cleaner. I have done this a few times. (me shuddering) They seem prone to static electricity and just come alive when you touch them. Do you know Styrofoam likes to stick in mini Afros? just food for thought, not as bad as oatmeal in Afros.
We got a karaoke machine so that I could practice my testimony and speaking into a microphone. Well Mason got a hold of it tonight and preached his first sermon, he stood on a chair and just let us all have it. At one point he tucked the microphone in his shirt and preached on everything from the shield of faith, the lion that comes to steal kill and destroy, in between chastising us for not watching him he would say "1,2 3 eyes on me" He was asking questions pertinent to his sermon and keeping us engaged. He often switched from the plight of the manta rays to having faith and testing. Then back to how God wants us to care for His universe and the story of Jonah, by the way Jonah was in the belly of the whale for three million years. I have to give it to the kid he had all the scriptures to back it up (well except the Jonah facts) I used to think I could never do as good as my father with teaching my own kids about God. My dad seemed, and is so wise and knew the answer for everything about God. He always gave good sound scriptures to back it up and in between my teenage eye rolls I learned something. I have always wanted to be like him, a good teacher. Well tonight I see that my kids have learned something. It hit me and I watched Mason pick up an orange (yes there is a box of oranges in my living room I told you my house was a disaster) and said "you know even this orange worships God" I thought to myself, I know the scripture to that. I waited. He said "You know if we don't raise up to praise God he will cause his own creations to, like the rocks and trees and all of his creation even this orange" Yesssssssss! He knows it and he gets it. I realized he is learning and like my dad, those hours of speaking scriptures even when you think they are not listening, they are.
Now onto what were Abby and Judah doing during this long, very long sermon? They had discovered the joy of sculpting Styrofoam. Yes they took the Styrofoam the karaoke machine came in and sawed and cut for an hour, feverishly with great intent and more importantly, quietly. Then they gathered up the millions of pieces around the floor in little zip lock baggies that for some reason they were so proud of. I don't get it, but if I could be that content cutting and storing Styrofoam in baggies for no reason, I wouldn't be blogging about how stressed out I am up at 3 am. Hence the reason my house is so very messy right now. What was I doing, avoiding cleaning and checking emails as feverishly as the Styrofoam cutting crowd to see if I had any news from a far away country. You know something else, Styrofoam is very hard to clean up, the little balls stick to you and run from the vacuum cleaner. I have done this a few times. (me shuddering) They seem prone to static electricity and just come alive when you touch them. Do you know Styrofoam likes to stick in mini Afros? just food for thought, not as bad as oatmeal in Afros.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Hit a wall
Here it is another wall in the adoption world. I don't think I can wait a second longer. I am now jumping everytime the phone rings, checking emails all day long and hoping like never before. I could be because our cordinator is supposed to come back any day now. Well a week, but who is counting. I have been "waiting" for close to three months. I have tried to stay busy and keep away from being nosey about others adoptions and waits as mine is enough right now. But now she, whoever she is haunts me day and night. And I am tired of it. The wait for a referral is like a mind game. I don't know what to compare it to, just imagine always living never knowing. But knowing that something big was going to happen and it could be good, you hope it is good but it could be hard and you know it will be hard. But you want this so bad, more than anything. It is like waiting for a season to change and it never does. It is like summer in Arizona.
Offense
Did you know that when you "offend" a friend you literally put them in jail, you lock them up with iron bars. That is what the bible says in Proverbs, Or if you are the one offended you yourself can spend time in prison so to speak. God came to set the captives free that is the only way to get out of the jail of offense is to believe that God came to set you free and to choose his way. As for God his ways are perfect.
Just a little side note of silly.
I am well known for getting peanut butter on everything, everything!! door handles, air condition buttons, keyboard, clothes. I don't know why. I will hear Gary screaming from the hallway "KIMMMMMM, what is wrong with you?" and I will know it may have something to do with peanut butter on something. Well a few days ago I got all dressed up for one our adoption ministry meetings and it was just a great time we spent hours talking and planning. I got out to the car on my way home and felt something in my ear, I pulled out a huge wad of peanut butter!! how in the world did that even get there? How long did I have peanut butter just sitting in my ear? Why? I think I know, I made peanut butter sandwiches earlier and I was talking on the phone and maybe it transferred, I don't know. I once had a bumble be follow me literally 4 blocks, couldn't shake the bugar. Confounded and exasperated I told my friend it must be my Burt's bees lotion. Nope, peanut butter and honey on my forehead. Discovered that hours later after the walk. Big blog of honey on my forehead. Hey I am not proud of this, I really do want answers.
and just a bit more......
I got in the car the other day, I had on jeans and cotton shirt. I had some lipstick on and some black shoes, I may have had on a necklace. Mason my eldest was embarrassed of me. "mommmmmm, you don't have to get dressed up all fancy we are just going to the store" okay if a pair of faded jeans, stained shoes (refer to paint spill incident in previous blog) and a cotton tshirt is fancy, what in the world do I look like normally? Poor kid he couldn't get over it. To him I might as well been wearing formal.
Just a little side note of silly.
I am well known for getting peanut butter on everything, everything!! door handles, air condition buttons, keyboard, clothes. I don't know why. I will hear Gary screaming from the hallway "KIMMMMMM, what is wrong with you?" and I will know it may have something to do with peanut butter on something. Well a few days ago I got all dressed up for one our adoption ministry meetings and it was just a great time we spent hours talking and planning. I got out to the car on my way home and felt something in my ear, I pulled out a huge wad of peanut butter!! how in the world did that even get there? How long did I have peanut butter just sitting in my ear? Why? I think I know, I made peanut butter sandwiches earlier and I was talking on the phone and maybe it transferred, I don't know. I once had a bumble be follow me literally 4 blocks, couldn't shake the bugar. Confounded and exasperated I told my friend it must be my Burt's bees lotion. Nope, peanut butter and honey on my forehead. Discovered that hours later after the walk. Big blog of honey on my forehead. Hey I am not proud of this, I really do want answers.
and just a bit more......
I got in the car the other day, I had on jeans and cotton shirt. I had some lipstick on and some black shoes, I may have had on a necklace. Mason my eldest was embarrassed of me. "mommmmmm, you don't have to get dressed up all fancy we are just going to the store" okay if a pair of faded jeans, stained shoes (refer to paint spill incident in previous blog) and a cotton tshirt is fancy, what in the world do I look like normally? Poor kid he couldn't get over it. To him I might as well been wearing formal.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
La Vida Loca
Ahh my crazy life, I haven't been good at blogging at all!! Probably by now I have been forgotten and my words are to the wind!
Where have I been? Launching a new ministry I have dreamed of for two years!! Yes God has finally given the go ahead just when I thought this would never happen.
We are made up of 10 members strong of fellow adoptive mothers and advocates. We are The Grafted Tree, a voice to the voiceless. A ministry to all Gods children. We had partnered with local agencies and are gather resources. There are about 6 of us that are very active in the group. It was all of our dreams and it was like God just put us together with such oneness it is hard to describe. I truly feel I have known them forever!! Anyway we will be getting things off soon here doing speaking engagements at local churches and spreading the word of God's love in adoption. I am trying to prepare my testimony but it is harder than I thought.
We should have our website up and running and we are actively working towards becoming non profit, we have already 2 orphanages in interested in us from Africa and I hope we can raise awareness and tons of money for them. We are an interdenominational group comprised of different christian churches in our area. I hope we will grow and encourage more churches to start their own orphan ministries so that we can reach more kids. Our web site when it is up and running will be www.thegraftedtree.com I am working on it and trust me I am no techie! More later I am so sorry I haven't caught up.
Here's one for the road, Oatmeal in an Afro doesn't easily come out. I learned this a month ago when Abby and Judah disappeared under my dining room table with a container of oatmeal and she showered him with it. He had oats in his hair for well over a week despite washing which was a no no because of his African hair. Poor baby had no oil left on his scalp, we ended up cutting his hair.
Where have I been? Launching a new ministry I have dreamed of for two years!! Yes God has finally given the go ahead just when I thought this would never happen.
We are made up of 10 members strong of fellow adoptive mothers and advocates. We are The Grafted Tree, a voice to the voiceless. A ministry to all Gods children. We had partnered with local agencies and are gather resources. There are about 6 of us that are very active in the group. It was all of our dreams and it was like God just put us together with such oneness it is hard to describe. I truly feel I have known them forever!! Anyway we will be getting things off soon here doing speaking engagements at local churches and spreading the word of God's love in adoption. I am trying to prepare my testimony but it is harder than I thought.
We should have our website up and running and we are actively working towards becoming non profit, we have already 2 orphanages in interested in us from Africa and I hope we can raise awareness and tons of money for them. We are an interdenominational group comprised of different christian churches in our area. I hope we will grow and encourage more churches to start their own orphan ministries so that we can reach more kids. Our web site when it is up and running will be www.thegraftedtree.com I am working on it and trust me I am no techie! More later I am so sorry I haven't caught up.
Here's one for the road, Oatmeal in an Afro doesn't easily come out. I learned this a month ago when Abby and Judah disappeared under my dining room table with a container of oatmeal and she showered him with it. He had oats in his hair for well over a week despite washing which was a no no because of his African hair. Poor baby had no oil left on his scalp, we ended up cutting his hair.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Kindness
Scripture reference: Galations 6:9
We must not become tired of doing good. We will receive our harvest of eternal life at the right time. We must not give up!
Memory verse
Ephesians 4: 32
And be kind to one another......
Prayer of the Day
Dear Lord help me to remember that is always my job to treath others with kindness and respect. Make the golden rule my rule and make your word my guidebook for the way I treat other people.
Amen.
I expanded on our daily devotions by showing the kids they are never to young to minister to others. I was having a bad morning and I showed them that no matter how we feel we still come to God. They stopped what they were doing and just hugged me, got water and a pillow and just held me. This type of service went along with our hymn.
"A Beautiful Lfe" I encourage you to read it to your kids. It is on the links on my side bar of this page.
We must not become tired of doing good. We will receive our harvest of eternal life at the right time. We must not give up!
Memory verse
Ephesians 4: 32
And be kind to one another......
Prayer of the Day
Dear Lord help me to remember that is always my job to treath others with kindness and respect. Make the golden rule my rule and make your word my guidebook for the way I treat other people.
Amen.
I expanded on our daily devotions by showing the kids they are never to young to minister to others. I was having a bad morning and I showed them that no matter how we feel we still come to God. They stopped what they were doing and just hugged me, got water and a pillow and just held me. This type of service went along with our hymn.
"A Beautiful Lfe" I encourage you to read it to your kids. It is on the links on my side bar of this page.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
God's song to Mason 5 years old
Mason recieved a song from the Lord while he was getting a drink of water. He said listen mom this song just popped in my head.
"Oh Lord mighty God I ask that you save me"
"Oh Lord mighty God I ask that you save me"
"you are so heavenly you can do anything"
"you are so powerful Oh Lord mighty God"
One wise and simple man told me not to long ago to pour into your children when they are young, let them hear christan music and the word of God at all times. I haven't always been faithful daily with this but I was convicted a few weeks ago and have made family devotions and hymns the first part of our day. I am seeing the Lord grow stronger in the kids every day that goes by. I am using the bible a lot to correct and seeking Gods wisdom with the small things as well as the big things. I am not saying I am not completely fustrated with them and times and watching their behavior at times I blame myself for not doing a "good" enough job. Of course everytime they make a bad choice I feel I had some part in it, and this is not true. The truth is they are going to make bad choices that is how we all learn. I am going to start blogging daily of our lessons and devotions, you can read the hymns that we are learning to the side.
"Oh Lord mighty God I ask that you save me"
"Oh Lord mighty God I ask that you save me"
"you are so heavenly you can do anything"
"you are so powerful Oh Lord mighty God"
One wise and simple man told me not to long ago to pour into your children when they are young, let them hear christan music and the word of God at all times. I haven't always been faithful daily with this but I was convicted a few weeks ago and have made family devotions and hymns the first part of our day. I am seeing the Lord grow stronger in the kids every day that goes by. I am using the bible a lot to correct and seeking Gods wisdom with the small things as well as the big things. I am not saying I am not completely fustrated with them and times and watching their behavior at times I blame myself for not doing a "good" enough job. Of course everytime they make a bad choice I feel I had some part in it, and this is not true. The truth is they are going to make bad choices that is how we all learn. I am going to start blogging daily of our lessons and devotions, you can read the hymns that we are learning to the side.
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