Hit a wall

Here it is another wall in the adoption world. I don't think I can wait a second longer. I am now jumping everytime the phone rings, checking emails all day long and hoping like never before. I could be because our cordinator is supposed to come back any day now. Well a week, but who is counting. I have been "waiting" for close to three months. I have tried to stay busy and keep away from being nosey about others adoptions and waits as mine is enough right now. But now she, whoever she is haunts me day and night. And I am tired of it. The wait for a referral is like a mind game. I don't know what to compare it to, just imagine always living never knowing. But knowing that something big was going to happen and it could be good, you hope it is good but it could be hard and you know it will be hard. But you want this so bad, more than anything. It is like waiting for a season to change and it never does. It is like summer in Arizona.

Offense

Did you know that when you "offend" a friend you literally put them in jail, you lock them up with iron bars. That is what the bible says in Proverbs, Or if you are the one offended you yourself can spend time in prison so to speak. God came to set the captives free that is the only way to get out of the jail of offense is to believe that God came to set you free and to choose his way. As for God his ways are perfect.

Just a little side note of silly.

I am well known for getting peanut butter on everything, everything!! door handles, air condition buttons, keyboard, clothes. I don't know why. I will hear Gary screaming from the hallway "KIMMMMMM, what is wrong with you?" and I will know it may have something to do with peanut butter on something. Well a few days ago I got all dressed up for one our adoption ministry meetings and it was just a great time we spent hours talking and planning. I got out to the car on my way home and felt something in my ear, I pulled out a huge wad of peanut butter!! how in the world did that even get there? How long did I have peanut butter just sitting in my ear? Why? I think I know, I made peanut butter sandwiches earlier and I was talking on the phone and maybe it transferred, I don't know. I once had a bumble be follow me literally 4 blocks, couldn't shake the bugar. Confounded and exasperated I told my friend it must be my Burt's bees lotion. Nope, peanut butter and honey on my forehead. Discovered that hours later after the walk. Big blog of honey on my forehead. Hey I am not proud of this, I really do want answers.

and just a bit more......

I got in the car the other day, I had on jeans and cotton shirt. I had some lipstick on and some black shoes, I may have had on a necklace. Mason my eldest was embarrassed of me. "mommmmmm, you don't have to get dressed up all fancy we are just going to the store" okay if a pair of faded jeans, stained shoes (refer to paint spill incident in previous blog) and a cotton tshirt is fancy, what in the world do I look like normally? Poor kid he couldn't get over it. To him I might as well been wearing formal.