Target. Super Target. Me. Four monkeys. Not going back anytime soon. Not welcome I'm sure.
I can really at this point go no further. Well maybe a little bit further, but to give details would be reliving an experience I would rather not. Lets just say I wasn't Living Love Out Loud. Hhahahhaha. In contrast I may need to let there be enough time from now to my next visit to allow the typical staff turn around before I go back.
I will give you some highlights, as brief as I can.
First I wander if when people see cute little Judah who is really almost five, pouting and crying and then see me "big mama" as he likes to call me, getting on to him, if they think I am just and angry baby sitter. I mean he is black and I am white and in public you just never know what others perception is. When he is throwing a fit like that I almost wish he would yell "NO MOM! just so others would know he was mine and I was his.
I mean in all seriousness, I had two hours of Judah acting like the crazy squirrel on Over the Hedge. I insisted he come with me after being disciplined for teasing Nettie, he refused. Then.... he stood there, I walked away and that little booger just dug his feet in the ground, meanwhile nice people are walking by and saying how cute he was and "poor little thing". I got a little further and then looked behind me and he was not there. I knew he was standing his ground and for a moment the thought passed through my head to keep going. I had the security that some nice person would feel sorry for him and find his mommy, but in the meanwhile I could get like 10 minutes of shopping done. Like I said the thought only ran through my head, I would never do that. Just as I turned around to go and retrieve his stubborn butt I hear store clerks saying over the registers, "ohhh poor thing is he lost??" I realized that people don't know that he belongs to me.
Okay so imagine that is the top part of the cookie. The middle, or the filling is full of mishaps and threatens and talking toos for all the kids, mainly Judah. The end or the bottom portion of this cream filled nightmare, came with the pizza and Nettie flying off my cart. I swear I heard a "splat".
Let me back up. 2 hours of not funness. Ends with the girls wanting pizza, see I already bought the boys pizza when we were at Target the first time and girls were in dance. I lost track of time, so I had to leave my cart there, full, a couple of unpaid water bottles and pray they would not put all my hard work back on the shelves. Returning with all four kids. So it was the girls turn for pizza.
Some back ground on Nettie. She is clumbsy and before you start feeling sorry for her, she doesn't have any ear infections or brain issues. Believe it or not she is just like her mom. She falls down and trips all the time, she breaks things and drops things and spills things at least once a day. She steps on the dogs and falls off beds. It is because she is careless and unaware of her surroundings. She does things she shouldn't like dances on chairs, and runs with boots too big, you know that kind of stuff, bends over with water in her hands, dances with plates of food as she walks to the table. I don't have too much room to talk because I actually ran into our thermostat the other day as I was walking down the hall, I didn't just run into it, I whacked my head so bad on it that it almost made me fall over. Soooooo, her favorite food is pizza, I handed her the little personal pan pizza and immediately I could see it coming, so I told her to hop into the cart, you know the kind built for large families that have a two seater thing in front with a five point harness. Well those harnesses are good for something you know. Of course there was fighting over the seat and I was stressed that I spent too much money and suddenly the 4 dollar pizzas seemed over the top. I sat her down in the cart and told her sit still and hold the pizza until we got to the car. Well she didn't listen and I wasn't paying attention and when I took off and turned the cart to the left is when I thought I heard a "SPLAT" there was Nettie on the floor, shocked, in a purple ballerina outfit belly down, hands and feet sprawled and no shoes!! her pizza had been set free from it's box and landed, of course face down int he middle of the main isle. This was my reaction.
"Nettie I told you not to drop your pizza!!" I rush over, not to pick up my little ballerina but to gather the pizza I just spent four dollars on! I stomp over to the pizza counter and tell them that my daughter just dropped her pizza could I have a new one. They say no and that only serves to further infuriate me. So I toss the pizza directly on the counter and turn around, there was a Target Supervisor, she tells them to just give me a new pizza, without even really knowing how Nettie got back on her feet I deliver the new pizza to her and this time with a dirty look. The Target super looks dismayed and it was only later that I could interpret her eyes. She ask me if Nettie is okay, my response to her is a quick, blunt and frustrated "She falls down all the time, like 5 or 6 times a day, she is fine" no compassion no sympathy no heart, no God. Plus I totally exaggerated she only falls down or breaks something 1 time a day. So I am sure the Target lady thought I was a horrible mom, I mean heck I think in that moment there was some room for improvement. I am still pretty sure it was Judah who was at the center of this tornado. You would have to be there. Nettie was just displaced anger. Poor girl. We cuddled a lot when we got home and I gave her lots of kisses and words of affirmation.
This is why I don't go shopping with the kids.