Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Nettie and Abby

Well they are sisters for sure. They don't sleep. I put them to bed and Nettie moaned to go poopala but knowing the rules of stay in bed (not me orphanage I assume) Abby was the talebearer, reporting all of Netties woes. "Mom she needs food, mom she needs to go poop real bad, mom she needs water, mom she is wearing underwear on her head, my sparkle underwear" So with this last request of my presence I go to find my dear Nettie snug in bed wearing a bright playful smile and a pair of Abby's underwear on her head. She said as she pointed to her underwear "Underwear?" as if she didn't know what it was for or where it went. I told her she looked beautiful and tried my hardest not to just devour her in kisses or laugh. If I had done either of these things she would have been up dancing and playing and capturing me the way she does. I can't stop watching her and her antics make us all laugh. Tonight she requested Abby to lay with her then told Abby she needed wa, (water). She does that, she charms you then bosses you around and you just do it because you are under her spell. So Abby hops out of bed and runs to get her water. I told Nettie to say please and she smiled knowing she didn't really have to do that. Abby stopped with a look of purpose and told me "mom she doesn't have to say please to me, I will just do it." wow. show me your secrets queen Sheba the great Ethiopian queen who charmed Solomon. She must know something I don't . Then I went to tell them a story. I started off with a made up tale of the Ice princess and the fire princess. Abby could barely contain herself and I never got past the power of the ice princess which by the way was Abby's character. Nettie could careless because she kept saying in her little bird chirpy voice "Icecream?" I finally had to tell Abby I couldn't tell this story and she would just have to think of it in her imagination as she was trying to take over my story. Finally at 10 PM all was quiet.

I have been thinking about her a lot and her personality. Nettie is a pleaser, she wants to see everyone happy. She loves to tattle though especially on Judah. She can be the biggest little stinker and have you laughing a few minutes later. She has adopted Mason (6) as her littlest ababa. He couldn't be more happy to feel so important to her. He protects her and treats her like his child more than a big brother. He takes responsibility for her and guides her and nurtures her. She seemed to know the key to his heart then took it and ran with it. Tonight I heard him yelling in Amharic "Beka Nettie, Banana Conjo" meaning "Stop good banana" He apparently tried to feed her a snack as she was probably begging for him to get her something to eat. Chik fil a wasn't cutting it as she is not crazy about chicken in nugget form. The banana wasn't good enough for miss thing and she threw it on the floor yelling back in Amharic "No Mason Coshasha!!" meaning dirty! He was at a loss of what to do with this little fire ball so he put the perfectly good bananna in the dog bowl and threw his hands in the air. Regardless she found the key to his heart. Often he sticks up for her and she smiles slyly to herself and goes to him and rubs his arms and face and sidles up next to him in all of her shortness under the wing of his arm as if to say "Thank you Ababa"

Abby has always been the "Tom boy" she has shown little interest to girly things ever in her almost 5 years on this earth. Somehow Nettie has awaken the little girl in her and she stepped out a bit on the pink side. Don't get me wrong she would choose a boy friend and a truck any day but I have caught her brushing a pretty pony tail and she even wore a dress to church! Big steps for Abby. Abby also has her personal space and not too many are allowed to be in it. When she was little I was, but even with me she would tell me "Turn your breathing off it bothers me" Somehow Nettie has wormed her way into big sissy's heart and I find Abby cuddling with her by her own choice and letting her brush her blond hair. I don't know how Nettie did it. There is no jealousy and Abby is actually coming out of her shell a bit. She even told me that she was thinking of changing her name to "Beauty" now this coming from a girl that you could not say was pretty at all. You could call her cool but she would get mad if you and possibly throw a punch if you said she was beautiful. So again I am not sure how Nettie did it.

Judah, my youngest. We are really in the thick of connection issues right now with him. We don't understand him and are seeking help with his behavior. He has a very hard time socially making connections with people but somehow Nettie did it. She broke down some barrier in his mind and is able to get there and show him love. I put them in the bath the other day and she bathed him like a mother would her son, all the while speaking Amharic and ordering him around. He stood there shocked but smiled at the attention she doted on him. I think that in the future he will connect even more to her. He has started dancing and has taken an interest in Ethiopian dancing as he sees Nettie loving it. He is realizing where he is from. He doesn't talk much to her but he copies her a lot and tries to play with her, mostly by jumping on her at which point she tattles on him.

I can't write for Gary as he hasn't had too much time with her. When he is around she just wants me. I know in time he will get to know her as well.

As for me I feel like there is a spot that is no longer blank in my life. She has come in and allowed me to love her. She has trusted me and reached out to me, she has made some connection with me that only a mom and daughter could know. I really don't know how she did it. I look at my family and I know I am blessed with all my kids. I see completeness and fullness. I feel done with adding to my family but ready to build it up. I have waited for so long for this and I wasn't sure it was possible.

Nettie studies pictures of people, photographs and magazines. She is deeply interested in humans. She has a deep sense of intuition and I think it has saved her life. I just pour tears for her parents. If I can love her like this how must they feel to have lost her? I would not be surprised if Nettie became a Broadway show stopper or a teacher or a doctor or writer or comedian or counselor. It seems to me the world is hers and she knows it.