Wednesday, July 21, 2010


Well since April things have happened not only in threes but in 10's or 7's. We just can't seem to get a break financially or emotionally. I was just here thinking that all of this "stuff" isn't worth anything if I don't let it change me. I can't call it garbage because I am sure these woes are recyclable and that they are indeed worth something, possible they are the flames of the refiners fire. For my own account of history I will make a list.

Mason broke his arm, two ER visits, a surgery, three cast later, still not healed. We will see. Then directly after that the transmission blows on our car. One rental van later and a week to go by only to find out the Suburban we bought on auction most likely has all kinds of water damage. Directly after that, water heater leaks in Abby's room, so we buy a new one, replace it and Gary throws his back out severely while installing it. Several weeks of a husband that can't work or even walk, and one ER visit later he is still sore and not himself. During this time and after the kids pick up a nasty virus leaving them with hives and marks all over their bodies. I get the flu and loose several pounds. We recover from that and we get a cold, before the last tissue has been sneezed in Abby and I get food poisoning. One ER trip for me because of dehydration and several doctors appointments later, and many stool samples we finally start to see the light of day, and then I have to put my dog to sleep because he is dieing of heart failure. To come home alone, and find out my friend has also died of cancer. To find out the next day that all my hopes for homebirth are pretty much gone and I have a condition called placenta previa, which would require bedrest and c section. Thankfully I learn that I don't need to be on bed rest but the rest is indeed uncertain. A day goes by, we find the almost perfect house and put an offer in on it hoping to move soon, and we didn't get the house. We buy a new puppy, Abby drops him the day we get him and injures his leg, now I am sitting here listening to him wheeze and I pray to God that he doesn't have kennel cough from the shelter because he is sitting right next to my little chihuahua that has lost weight due to stress and losing her best friend.

Okay rant and whine over with.

I just needed to vent. I understand in light of all of this that God is bigger and the more I praise him the more I trust him. Many good things have come from these trials. Not sure yet what they are but I know that my response time for praising him is lessening as I just surrender.

The new puppy is a doll, the water heater works, for now so does our car, we have more time to save money because we didn't get this house, I didn't have to make a tough choice with my dog, it was obvious he was dieing in that moment, Abby and I are finally well and I now I know that blood in the stools could just be food poisoning, Serenity is healthy and no matter how she comes into the world I am at a great advantage because it is out of my hands, I really have to trust in God to see me through this one.

This is life and as a friend stated to me it is the part of making memories, good and bad. My friend who passed away of cancer is heaven and while her children and husband are here, I know that she is in a better place with no suffering. But while on earth we must suffer for a little while, with the hopes of going to that beautiful place. This is life and we have to live it.