It is easy at this point in the game to give up, I certainly feel tired enough to stop. But I cannot. Despite disappointment after disappointment I know that there are millions of orphaned children in this world and I know for certain it is God's plan to adopt one of them. I know we are ready and I know my kids are ready, my paperwork is ready, my heart is ready, our finances are almost ready.
Why. Why. not a question more a statement.
If I listened to some I would wait or not do this at all. When is the timing perfect to bring home a child, to birth a child, to get married? Is there some magic day and some perfect child and some just right situation? I don't know. I know that as hard as this is on me there is a child that doesn't have a family.
Am I so bad? Am I doing something so wrong? I have prayed, thought, desired, hoped and longed, paid with my heart, purse and time. Why.
We want to. I cannot stop. Something is bigger than us is in this and despite the circumstances we will bring home a child from Ethiopia. We need this girl and this girl needs us. I don't know if there is a perfect child just right for our family, is there such a thing anyway? I do know that in every child there is a blessing and no perfect fit for anyone, just a lot of kids and one big God to make it work. There is not a perfect time nor is there a perfect family but a family sticks it out through the thick and thin and we are sticking with this.
I don't know how or who or when. I do know why.