Thursday, September 30, 2010

Mason's big plan

Mason 8 years old

Mason said he is going to be a multibillionaire. His plan is to open a Birthing Center to fund Taco Bell and then a Peter Piper Pizza, he is going to have a church in his house, adopt kids, and have some money to burn. With this said money he is going to get a hot rod for himself that goes 200 miles per hour and one baby carrying car so his babies heads don't fly off. He is going to hire his sister Abby and pay her 6oo dollars an hour to work at his Pizza Place. She didn't think that was a good deal but he reassured her it was and that he couldn't treat her special because he didn't want to be unfair to the rest of his employees, Abby inquired if he could please be unfair when no one was looking. Mason assured her that he could not because he didn't want his people to quit. So Abby relented and said that 600 dollars an hour would be fine.

On a different note. I am so done with being pregnant. I love Serenity and I want to meet her so badly. Gary is very excited and I think this time around he really and truly sees the magic of the whole thing as he is in constant wander. Me I am in constant pain and being uncomfortable doesn't bring out the best in me. For that reason I am sure that Gary will be happy when I deliver her. I am having contractions all day now since Saturday, gaining weight faster now than ever before. I think I am up to 19 pounds. I have 1 week left but I don't think I will make it that far. Who knows though, it has been so different from all my other pregnancies. At this point I want to crawl into a cave and be left alone. My cell phone is broken so actually that is a good thing. I know everyone is concerned but I am feeling a lot of pressure with this concern and anticipation to the point where I have decided not to answer the phone. Okay off to deal with heart burn.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Winding down

Well this little 9 month journey will soon be coming to an end. It feels like I did something I couldn't do. I am going to miss it. It is like having a job that is temporary, in the end you get used to the work and attached to the whole thing, then suddenly you have to leave the job and move on to something else. It is bittersweet to say the least.

Serenity will be born at Good Sam, at least I think so. The doctor says he doesn't want to risk a home birth. I may end up with a c section who knows? I am no longer "worried" about it. It is what it is. Good Sam seems to fit what I want at least in a birth if I have to do it in a hospital. They seem to be the most naturally minded.

This has been the first pregnancy that people are only just now asking if I am due soon. I also get told that I don't seem that big at all and that I am just belly. I have gained 16 pounds so far and the doctor expects her to be about 8.5, at this 36 week ultra sound she was 6.3. We had a scare and I thought we could loose her. Turns out it was just a scare. I did not have the liver disease suspected after all the blood work came back. I was truly glad and felt like a weight had been lifted off of me.

We have most of her things together. I have washed and folded laundry, had a baby shower, separated clothes, and purchased diapers. Now I just need to do a few more things. On my list is to get pictures with the boys, take the girls for a pedicure, and get a few last minute shopping things done. Gary's list is maybe a bit longer....

On a family note. Today was September 10th. Mason my sweet 8 year old was able to participate in a flag raising ceremony in honor of the victims of 9-11. I had to choke back tears as he stood in full cub scout uniform holding the Arizona flag. It was 8 years ago I held him so close in my womb that fateful day. Fear overwhelmed me and thoughts crashed through my head as I imaged what this world may be like for my unborn child. I held a little stuffed rabbit and rocked back and forth in my rocker, tears pouring down my face. To see him so big, so handsome standing there with our flag was more than I could take. Gary too stood there in his pilot uniform on the way to work. It was so fitting. Mason is a wonderful child with so much to give the world, I love him with my whole heart.

Tonight Nettie asked me if I were her "real" mom. That is a hard one. This pregnancy has brought up a lot of family questions. (we ended up telling Mason about the birds and bees, he giggled then was fascinated by the science of it) Anyway.. I explained a little bit of genetics to Nettie, that while we didn't share the same blood I was her "real" mom. She was most comforted by the fact that her and I are very similar in our personalities. That, while we didn't share blood we shared something else. She is darling and one of the most compassionate children I have ever known.

I hurt Abby's feelings tonight by yelling at her. She got sick and tired of Mason pestering her and just whopped him straight into the bathtub, whereupon he smacked his head very hard. I realize that when I am afraid I lash out in anger. She felt horrible. I let her and Mason sleep in my bed. While she was settling down she with her big red eyes looked at me making a muscle and said "Mom I just am too powerful, I don't know what to do with these?" speaking of her "guns" Mason told her to use them for good and maybe whittle some wood or something. I am truly living with Zena warrior princess. Mason forgave her with his whole heart, she just found it hard to forgive herself. She lights up my life and makes us all laugh with her never ending antics.

Today was Judah's kindergarten robot parade. I was so proud of him because he is so independent. He pretty much made and designed his own robot costume. It was fun having the whole family out to support him. Yesterday was his birthday and he is now 6! I can't believe we have been mommy and daddy for 5 years to him. His school work is really catching up and he has a great grasp of directions and dates. We are so proud of him for all that he is. Often I think how lucky I am to have him in my life.

Well yawn, maybe write more tomorrow.