Sunday, March 23, 2008

If I am not waiting for one thing I am waiting for another

Well I am here at my sisters house. Waiting. Big huge surprise. Waiting for my sister to give birth. I have to admit I am anxious. If I weren't blogging this I would be pacing just like you see in the movies. This is hard for me as well in another way too. It is hard to process what birth is verses adoption. Is there such a thing? Today on the way to my mother in laws house to drop off the kids we were talking about Auntie having a baby. Mason really wanted to watch the baby being born, he has always been interested in child birth mostly because I talked to him a lot about it when I was educating myself in home birth. I told Mason he couldn't be there to watch and he was very upset so I told him he could watch his birth video and then Abby asked if she could see hers and I said of course! And then I was surprised to here my baby boy Judah ask me so innocently if he could see his birth video. My heart is breaking right now thinking about it. I paused and I asked God what to say, then I told him "Baby you have the best adoption video and you can see it anytime, Daddy met you first and brought you to me" It seemed to stop the flow of questions for now but it is these moments that I realize that we have some pieces missing. It hurts me not to have answers and leaves me wandering how I am going to balance being excited about the birth of my bio kids and not making that to be more special than the adoption videos that we will have for my other kids. It doesn't help that society doesn't celebrate adoption the same way people celebrate birth. I guess you realize that as you go along in the process. Anyway enough of my ramblings.

My Sister Is Having a Baby!!

Yes actually right now, my younger sister is having her fourth baby! She is doing a home birth and we are at my moms house waiting just a few minutes down the road until we get the call she is ready to push, then we get to go down to her house and be there when little Annabella Jane is born.

I am proud of her because I also did a home birth with Abigail, and I wish that I had the chance to do another one but God has taken me down a different path. Adoption. But I am a big advocate of home birth and I have never actually been present when a baby was born so this will be exciting as long as she doesn't change her mind. I have been waiting at my moms house since noon and now it is almost 10 pm.

Her contractions are about 2 minutes apart. I miss my kids they are all at my mother in laws house so that I can be ready to go at a moments notice. Gary is on his way home from a Seattle turn and well he just called. Kids are doing great on the way home from Gary's mom house. I will write more later.


Are molecules real, because Dylan said they weren't. What are molecules? Dylan was serious though he said they were not real.

Now me ........duh.

Ya I didn't really know what a molecule was or is, I remember learning about them in Science but what the heck are they exactly. I really didn't know how to explain that. Anyone?


Abby requested a weight set for her birthday, which doesn't occur until late November. She seriously is becoming quite fascinated with body building. She said she wants to look like the guys on Ninja Warrior. She asked me tonight how she could make her muscles even bigger. She really truly cracks me up, she is only four!!

Also after seeing the movie "Enchanted" she has become very diligent about brushing her teeth. The old hag on the movie had horrible teeth and that scared her more than the dragon scene. After the scary dragon scene in the movie and all was quiet and done she said "Is that really how my teeth will look if I don't brush them?" She was stuck on the rotten teeth, not the man eating flame breathing dragon.


Tonight Judah and Gary had an interesting conversation. Gary came into the house and Judah was filling his water bottle at our kitchen sink, Gary noticed the pink cookies had been moved and few "knocked" off , mmmmm? He told Judah
"Don't touch the cookies"
Judah said "I didn't!!!"
Gary repeated himself
Judah then said "I didn't move the cookie ! the cookie moved the cookie"
and then looked directly at Gary and pointed his little finger at him and with a very serious face said "And don't argue with me"
Well I guess he told him.

Not Moving ( song I heard the other day)

Cause it's my will and I'm not moving
cause if it's your will
than nothing can shake me
Cause it's my will
to fall and praise you
and I will worship you
We've got to be
Children of peace