Well, I am coming to terms with my life now. Not completely but somewhat. I am now beginning my 8th week with this little one and I have had a few moments now of excitement. Still morning sick, and dizzy and very tired, which makes schooling and just about everything else difficult.
I am in the process of trying to figure out if I should homeschool the little ones or not. I don't feel like I can but then I can't see them in school either. I am just seeking God's wisdom in this matter. Everything in my life is on hold. I realize that I may not see Africa or any other place for a long time. Most of me is okay with that as I realize now my ministry is at home. Maybe it took 5 kids to do that to me.
It is sad as it seems I don't have time to help and comfort the people I once was. Everything is limited and my time especially seems to be focused on family. Somehow I have to fight feelings that I am letting God down. I know that isn't true but those are the lies I face. I guess I am drawn to the more showy and loud ministries, and staying home hidden and quiet is a challenge. But I think it is something I have been called too. It is not my will but Gods. If I live for him and do what he tells me then how can I go wrong? Well off to homeschool and get this day rolling.
