what can i say?

Really, what can I say? I feel like for weeks now I have been looking at the world through shaded goggles, the kind that are bug eyed and squeeze your brain with a giant elastic wrap around strap. Things just haven't been "normal" for me. I have lost interest in everything I once held dear to my heart. Some parts of those things were things I thought God was "calling" me to do, and they wrapped themselves tightly, like those goggles, around my soul. I can say now I am just not sure of anything anymore. Sooooo, I am just being quiet. Maybe it is hormones, maybe I'm still in shock or maybe God is just trying to settle me.

So, lets see what is going on now in me. Well I think I felt the baby kick for the first real time today, very cool, looking forward to more. The morning sickness and fatigue is wearing off and my hair looks great. Great, may not be the word, lets just say... My hair isn't falling out anymore! I actually smiled at the lady in line with me at Walgreens who wouldn't stop talking. I even smiled at a random kid at Peter Piper Pizza! wasn't even mine! normally I just don't have the energy. So maybe I am returning to my old self, who ever that is or was who knows?

We are super busy trying to buy this house, which for G and I represents a lifetime of dreams. He is already planning his beehive and researching solar panels, while I refuse to get too excited. To be honest though, mentally we have already moved in.

I see other people living their lives, moving on and doing great things, while I sit back and try not to get too fat. If my calling only takes me to a farm in the country raising 5 kids, then let me at least do it well Lord.