Thursday, January 24, 2008

What Not to Watch

Here is my list of kids movies and why parents should not let their kids watch these "harmless" flicks.

1. Flushed Away - why? because your kids will either flush various things down the toilet in hopes of finding an underground world ruled by rats and frogs, or in my case your kids will be scared to flush the toilet at all. (Not a pretty thing) Oh and lets not forget the annoying British accents five year old boys like to mimic at random and mostly inappropriate times.

2. Annie- why? I forgot how sexy and drunk Mrs. Hannigan was. whoops.

3. Finding Nemo- why? you can't really expect your kids to snorkel in the ocean on a family San Diego trip after this movie.

4. Charlotte's Web-why? do you like bacon on a Sunday morning, well it is not the same when you four year old is asking for pig and your five year old goes on to describe how humans eat pigs. (used to be a vegetarian so this doesn't sit well with me and breakfast is ruined.)

5. Peter Pan- why? have you ever seen a three and four year old climb to the highest point of anything singing "we can fly" me running in slow motion "NOOOOOOOOooooooooooo!"

6. We already discussed Home Alone, may I remind you of booby traps.

7. I wish I could think of 10 but I can't right now.

8. Evan Almighty-why? if they do decide flushing the toliet is safe after watching Flushed Away and it floods the bathroom most likely caused by over toilet paper usage, they really do believe that the great flood is upon us and they are quite sure the house and all dwelling inside will float away.
# 9 And the very reason that inspired this blog.

Ratatouille -why? Your five year old son will think that anyone can cook and will try to sneak rosemary into the soup plus, access to seran wrap.

Tonight Mason was helping Dad cook a very good chicken soup and while I was mopping and Gary was chopping Mason seran wrapped 2 peppers, a dish and cup and a spoon. Why?

I will ask.

He didn't know, you know just a fun joke. (him not me)

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