Friday, May 29, 2009

MMMm bacon flavored bath towels

Melt downs.

I had my first today. This morning actually. The thought did pass through my mind "Why in the world did we do this?" We drove all this way to fight heat, humidity and bugs. My legs and hands and feet are currently on fire. The pain started last night, my legs burned and itched as new bumps seemed to appear from no where. Then it happened, Sweetie the chihuahua pe peed on Gary. I forgot to walk her. ooops. So Gary tossed and turned and was rightfully very angry. As I mentioned before Gary has a thing for certain blankets and their comfort so when our second best blanket was urinated on by the 3 pound canine, he was livid. The trailer bed is wobbly and everytime he moved with the new scratchy blanket, I felt as though I was being rocked by giant waves. Needless to say I did, we, didn't sleep too much.

Our trailer and camps site is leaning to the right so everything tips, including me, our food the plates, you know. I tried to make a great breakfast but Judah had a complete melt down and the trailer felt way too small. Mason spilled three cups of milk, flys invaded upon the smell of scrambled eggs and bacon, and there is the constant fight with the sand. Ants the size of Texas were unwelcome intruders, and although I hate to use poison, we sprayed the area. I know the neighbors, some nice folks from Alabama thought I was a loon as I spit and cursed the ground. Well not really but I might as well. I said I didn't like this place and I didn't want to stay longer than I had to. I yelled at the kids, I yelled at the dogs and I yelled at Gary. Not really showing God's love. It is always embarrassing to then meet the people next to you and wander what they must think of you. The good thing is that it is always temporary.

I got my groove on and now things are better. The kids have been riding bikes, finding toads and playing in the mud for hours. Gary just set up a game for them to do outside and I took a shower in the KOA public showers. It was a full size shower, nice and hot, and the water didn't run out after 5 minutes. Yessss, it is the small things. My legs are still on fire, but the good news is that there isn't a lot of West Nile Virus here. I had horrible dreams of tornado's and tsunamis and our little trailer being washed into the Gulf of Mexico. Abby woke with night mares of germs and getting sick. Poor baby. She also woke with a stuffy nose.

As I prayed in the shower, the steam and God cleansing my very soul, I found my peace again. I am home as long as I have my little home with me. Every camp ground we pull up too seems unfamiliar, I worry about it's safety and where my kids will run and ride and how I will watch them. There is a lonely feeling that comes over me at first, then we set up our little trailer and I know I am home. Day light comes and I see that we are surrounded by friendlies and the danger I imagined is not so bad. The kids find things to do, they make up games and mostly follow the rules. We loose them every once and while but they seem to come back. I am trying to let go of the fear, and I realize I am riddled to the core with fear. I don't want to put that on my kids.

I dried off, thinking Gary was right that this shower was nice and worth the effort. I pulled my towel from the little hook and tried my best to dry off (humidity) and when I dried my face all I could smell was bacon. Now I know why all these years I have watched campers cook their bacon outside. The smell is thick and will soak into everything. So I smiled as I am learning and decided that smelling like bacon was better than how I smelled before. It's all good.

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