Parent Tricks That Work For Me

Partly I am blogging this for my own sake and partly in hopes that you all will share what really works for you. I am not talking what the experts say enough of that, I mean like real life advice. I know I struggle with consistency, or lack of. God bless those women who don't. Routine makes me sick. Just the other day the thought of one more peanut butter sandwich on whole wheat bread, literally brought tears to my eyes. I opened the fridge and my head collapsed in the crook of my elbow as I was leaning on the freezer and I cried, I am not joking. (Wow sidetracked) Sorry consistency rocks but I prefer the lure of the unknown, like "ohhhhhh what are we having for lunch today?, Indian curried rice? hummus? enchiladas?" yesssssss! But PB and J is much easier to whip up so for the last 5 years we used more peanut butter than I could have ever imagined. (We ended up by the way having tuna).

Okay on with the show,
What is working for me right now parenting kids close in age.

When they get into a fight, and one hits the other and the other hits back, instead of a big lecture, I simply say, "both of you are wrong, I am going to punish both of you, or you can take care of it for yourselves." they opt for the latter (self preservation) and quickly make up. After all of that I say, "okay now you have to make each other laugh" this works because they get to put on a show and be silly, (you will need to moderate this as the word "fart" and "poop" are guaranteed to cause much inappropriate laughter. One hundred percent of the time they are happy as can be and resume playing like nothing happened. The bible says not to get into silly arguments, the whole "she hit me first" etc. doesn't fly. If they both hit they are both wrong end of story. We don't even discuss it. They know that and don't argue it.

So as not to appear as a know it all, I will add what doesn't work for me.

Letting the kids play hide and seek with the cordless phone to keep them occupied while I am on the other phone talking to the bank. ( Offical rules of this game are, brother hides the cordless phone from sister, mom pushes page button and both kids run like crazy through the house to find it) That doesn't work because when the chicken roasting in the oven is sizzling out of control and you really need to switch to the cordless phone so you can not only talk to the lady at the bank but stop an oil fire..., well you get the picture, it doesn't work.

What Happens at the Grocery Store Does Not Stay at the Grocery Store

Well if you have ever in your life taken three or more kids to the grocery store, no need to explain the above picture. If you haven't then let me tell you, don't. This is the food my kids "bought" while I wasn't looking.

Now not to disclude parents of one child or two this has happened to me at every stage and with every child, (Julia your not going to get out of this!)

The first time was with my oldest, he was 3. I found a giant pomegranate candle and a huge bag of beef jerky. You can imagine my surprise when I was putting groceries away. A joyful Mason claimed them and told me he "bought" the candle for me. I looked at the receipt and the jerky alone was 15 dollars!!

Now Abby has done this too, she "bought" a pack of "pies" (smuckers uncrustable peanut butter sandwiches)

But today for the first time they both had a hand in the shopping and you may ask "How could you not notice?" my answer to you is, well I don't have an answer. I have a theory, bear with me.

Abby going in and out of the cart, taking her shoes on and off, sitting down in the middle of the isle to do so. (would not let me help her)

Mason hanging on the cart, off the cart, under the cart on the side of the cart. (no I don't allow this so hence the 15 shopping disruptions)

Judah in my purse, putting a toy in taking it out, whining all the way, he didn't actually "shop" but I think his part in the little plan was distracting me.

Come to think of it, I vaguely remember scanning a box of juice, but for the rest, seriously I don't even know how it got to my cart. The kids "helped" me load the items on the conveyor belt and after that it was history. Free and clear. We don't even eat Rice a Ronni.!!

Embarrassing Moment 1

Well( it )happens enough times to be bloggable, so I have dedicated a label to "Embarrassing Moments With My Kids". This is officially number 1.

We were in Home Depot (hate that place) getting paint for my husband. I , being the very intelligent woman that I am, didn't bring a cart to the paint section. (I was not thinking ahead) When the nice gentleman mixed the 4 gallons of paint for us I realized I couldn't carry the load, but I being the resourceful mom I am, decided to put my kids to practical use by letting them each carry a gallon of paint. (I know, I know). Anyway, I was aware that people were already staring at us, so I made even a bigger production about it, kinda showing off what a great mom I was. "Oh okay kids, let me see your muscles, wow!! okay who is going to be mommies biggest helpers?, okay lets go," In between looking up the staff ,smiling and squeezing the (tiny) muscles on my kids arms looking like a show off mom with the "my kids are the cutest around and I am the best mom every" We proceeded to leave the area, each small child (3,4, and 5) straining aganist the full cans of paint, when ..... (now some of this is blurry), I looked behind me and Abby was standing, mortified, in a oozing puddle of sandstone : 765342. My heart stopped, and before it restarted Judah had run through it, sloshing paint on me and leaving cream foot prints behind him. The thought did occur to just run, but I am 34 I had to stand and take the hit. Well everyone rushed to my side after I yelled for help, while I stood feeling like the biggest dope in the world, I told them I would just give them some money and go, but the nice man said he would get me another gallon of paint. So I had to stand there for 10 minutes, while everyone cleaned our mess and the line grew longer and longer at the paint station. Embarrassing.

I thought I should be a reporter because my second instinct after "run" was "blog" so I am. Lucky for me, I had my camera phone and I quickly snuck a picture of the poor lady cleaning our mess. Poor lady if you ever read this know that I am so very sorry.

Check out my T shirt fund raiser!

www.projectethiopia.blogspot.com


I think the shirts are pretty cool and they have a good message.

Kim

Our Crazy Dreams

Okay weird night for entire family.

I dreamed I was never getting a referral and that I had "gone Brittany Spears" and was running crazy down this long hallway with a ton of doors and I just wanted to find the end. It was in some building like a warehouse, I finally found the end and it was a bathroom I locked my self in a stall and just sat there. Knowing there was no where else I could run. It was not a good dream. ( This is a no brainer)

Gary stuttered this morning and he could barely say he dreamt about "adop, ad, adopt, " he couldn't bring himself to say it and I was laughing so hard. Apparently in his dream he was in the country with Eric Estrada and they were in a field and talking about airplanes and Eric Estrada and him were talking adoption.
Mason dreamed of booby traps
Abby had some bad dream and ended up in our bed
Judah snored all night.

Cracked up

My eldest son and I were sharing a moment when he looked up at me with love and asked if grown ups can get cracked necks. (that means wrinkles) I was ready to explain to him that when grandparents get older they get wrinkles, but as I pondered briefly on how to say it delicately, he blurted out, "Oh cause you have a million trillion on your neck."

Heres your sign.

Okay you know you need to stick to your new years resolutions or at least stop making Walmart your one stop shop, when your youngest son, 3 years old, comes rounding the corner with your underwear draped across his body and his arms in the leg holes saying "I got my jacket on" ya. I will spare you pictures.

You know you are in denial when you think to yourself,

"Ya but he is really small for his age."

Todays booby trap

Well if any of you have ever had "moon sand" you will relate immediately to this post. It is this sand like substance, it never dries out. I really don't know what it is to be honest. Yes I do. It's a total pain in the butt. It goes everywhere and gets into everything. I leave it outside but today Abigail decided to make a potion to catch bad guys. This is what it was, moon sand mixed with water from her barbie tea set in my bathroom.

Hair care confustion

This is my daughter, she did her hair,nice but she used Judah's African American hair lotion to fix her hair. Needless to say it was soft for the next few days.

Booby Traps

I have one word of waring to anyone who remembers the movie Home Alone.

Do not let your kids watch it, especially if you kids include a 5 year old boy.
You will be unraveling, tripping over, and cleaning up booby traps for months to come, in my case years.

Not to mention that there are a few bad words and bad attitudes, but honestly you can contain those things.
Booby traps are another story. Today for instance, I apparently tripped a wire (thread) hooked to a broom and a wire from Judahs remote control construction truck, napkins all over my floor to help me slip, I knocked over a glass of water. Mason yells out "Mom you messed up my booby trap!" Like I did that on purpose. You know that was just one booby trap in the past year I have fallen victim too. There have been countless designs and purposes to his booby traps. Lately though it is to catch criminals, he has them set up at every entrance of the house at various times of the day. And noone is safe, not even the dogs as he had something going by the doggy door tonight. Our poor fat dog is already terrified of the doggy door aftere it got stuck on him a few months ago. He is just recovering from that so I was hasty to remove what items Mason had put to trip up the hound.

I must say, it is okay and most the time amusing to have booby traps set up by one five year boy but when that five year old boy tells all the five year old boys in the neighborhood you have a certified problem. I found Mason at the park with scissors and thread, and heard some rumblings between his friends of catching bad guys. Who knows where and who will fall victim to whatever he and his friends built.

Next time I will include pictures.